The Hijacking of Advent
Can we talk honestly for a moment?
By the time Christmas Day arrives, most of us are absolutely shattered. Overwhelmed. Over-budget. Short-tempered and snappy with the people we love most.
We've attended every school play, bought every advent calendar (when did £200 beauty advent calendars become a thing?), kept up with the elf, baked the cookies, attended the events, and somehow still feel like we haven't done enough.
Here's the uncomfortable truth: we've taken something precious, the four weeks leading up to the birth of our Saviour, and turned it into a consumption frenzy that leaves families in debt, parents burnt out, and children... honestly? Confused about what Christmas is actually about.
Somewhere along the way, Advent got hijacked.
But here's what I want you to know: it doesn't have to be this way.
What if Advent could be the answer to our exhaustion, not the cause of it?
What Advent Actually Is (And Why It Matters Right Now)
Advent begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas, this year, that's November 30th. It's a season of anticipation, preparation, and waiting. A season of light breaking into darkness. A season that asks us to slow down, look up, and remember why any of this matters in the first place.
And here's what's fascinating: people are searching for exactly this.
Record numbers of people are returning to church in the UK. Articles are appearing in papers about successful people attributing their peace to finding faith. The "quiet revival" is becoming... well, not so quiet anymore.
Did you know that more people globally completed Alpha in the last year than in all the previous years combined since its launch?
People are searching for MORE.
And they're not finding it in the latest influencer-tagged product or the perfectly curated Christmas aesthetic. They're finding it in Jesus.
Advent offers us exactly what we're all desperately craving: simplicity, meaning, connection, and hope.
What Our Children Actually Need From Advent
I've spent years working in early years education, specialising in communication and child development. And here's what I know for certain:
Our children don't need another Advent calendar filled with cheap plastic toys.
They don't need us to replicate the Pinterest-perfect Christmas.
They don't need more activities, more events, more things.
They need us present. Not perfect.
When we're caught up in the chaos, worrying about who will sit where at Christmas dinner, stressing about getting the "right" gifts, rushing from one event to the next, we lose our ability to truly connect. We become distracted, short-tempered, and exhausted.
There's even research suggesting that Christmas Day sees one of the highest rates of family arguments. Think about that for a moment. The day we're supposedly celebrating peace on earth and goodwill to all... and we're at each other's throats.
Something's gone terribly wrong.
Our children need what Advent was always meant to provide: calm, clarity, rhythm, and relationships. They need space to wonder. They need us to slow down enough to actually see them. They need to understand the story, not just get more stuff.
They need Advent that builds faith, not just fills calendars.
Stripping It Back: Simple Advent Traditions That Actually Matter
Here's your permission slip: You don't have to do it all.
In fact, you shouldn't. Choose one or two traditions that feel life-giving for YOUR family. Not the family on Instagram. Not what worked for your neighbour. YOUR family.
Over the years, I've tried many things with Dolly and Fred. When they were tiny, I went all out - setting up daily nativity scenes around the house with "Ernie the Donkey" telling the Christmas story (our faith-filled answer to Elf on the Shelf!). It was magical... and absolutely exhausting.
As they've grown and I've gained wisdom (and honestly, realistic expectations), I've learned what actually works long-term. Here are the traditions that have stood the test of time in our home, and might serve yours, too:
1. Daily Family Devotional at Dinner Time
Five to ten minutes. That's all it takes.
Before you clear the plates, light a candle, read that day's Advent devotional together, and talk about it. Let your children ask questions. Let them wonder aloud. Let it be messy and real.
You don't need a fancy published devotional (though there are beautiful ones available). You can simply read the Christmas story progressively, a little bit each evening, and talk about what it means.
This teaches: The story matters more than the stuff. Family time is sacred. Jesus is worth slowing down for.
2. Advent Acts of Kindness
Instead of consuming MORE during Advent, what if we focused on giving MORE?
An advent calendar filled with daily acts of kindness, writing an encouraging note, baking for a neighbour, donating toys, visiting someone lonely, shifts our gaze outward instead of inward.
It teaches our children that Christmas isn't about what we get. It's about how we love.
I created a Kindness Advent Calendar years ago that you can download for free. Simple daily prompts. Nothing overwhelming. Just gentle reminders to look beyond ourselves.
This teaches: Generosity. Service. The joy of giving. That love is action.
3. Family Prayer Journaling Time
This is the tradition I've come to treasure most.
Light a candle. Put on calm Christmas music. Sit together for ten minutes with your journals (or a shared family journal). Write prayers, draw pictures, stick in photos or mementoes from the day.
Just... pause. Breathe. Reflect.
In the midst of the December chaos, this becomes your family's anchor. A daily rhythm that says: we will not be swept away by the madness. We choose peace.
My Advent Prayer Journal was born from this practice, 33 pages of prompts, scripture, and space for families to reflect together throughout Advent and Christmas. It's become an essential part of how we mark the season.
This teaches: Prayer matters. Reflection is valuable. God hears us. Our thoughts and feelings are worth recording.
4. Building the Nativity (For Younger Children)
If you have a wooden nativity set, try this: pack it away at the start of Advent and give your children one piece each day to add to the scene.
Day 1: The stable. Day 2: Mary. Day 3: Joseph. And so on, building toward Christmas Eve when baby Jesus finally appears.
Pair each piece with reading that part of the Christmas story. Let them handle the figures, arrange them, play with them.
This teaches: The story unfolds progressively. Anticipation is part of the joy. Christmas Day is the culmination, not just the beginning.
5. The Advent Wreath
Four candles (traditionally three purple, one pink) arranged in a circle with evergreen branches. Each Sunday of Advent, you light one more candle.
Week 1: Hope. Week 2: Peace. Week 3: Joy. Week 4: Love.
It's visual. It's rhythmic. Even the youngest children understand: more light each week. We're getting closer.
This teaches: Symbolism matters. Light overcomes darkness. Jesus is the light of the world.
Permission To Simplify
Listen to me carefully: you do not have to do all of these.
You don't have to do Elf on the Shelf AND Jesse Tree AND daily devotional AND acts of kindness AND prayer journaling AND advent wreath AND gingerbread house making AND...
Stop.
Choose what feels life-giving. Choose what you can sustain. Choose what points your family toward Jesus without leaving you in tears by December 10th.
It's okay to say no to the expensive beauty advent calendars. It's okay to skip the event that would leave you frazzled. It's okay if your Advent looks nothing like the perfectly styled Instagram version.
The goal isn't perfection. The goal is presence.
Your children won't remember whether you had the "right" Advent calendar. They'll remember whether you were present. Whether you were peaceful. Whether you helped them understand why Christmas matters.
Looking To The Stable
At the end of all this - beneath all the noise and pressure and commercialisation - there's a baby in a manger.
That's it. That's the story.
God with us. Emmanuel. The Creator of the universe is entering His creation as a vulnerable infant, born in the simplest of circumstances to parents with nothing.
No beauty advent calendar. No perfectly decorated tree. No expensive gifts.
Just: God's love made flesh. Light entering darkness. Hope for a weary world.
That's what Advent is about.
That's what our children need to understand.
That's what we need to remember when we're drowning in the December chaos.
Strip it all back. Look to the stable. Point your family to Jesus.
Everything else is just noise.
An Invitation
This Advent, I want to invite you to try something radical: do less.
Not because you're lazy or uncommitted, but because you're wise enough to know what actually matters.
Choose one or two traditions that feel meaningful. Let go of the rest. Give yourself permission to celebrate Advent in a way that builds faith without burning you out.
Your family's Advent doesn't have to look like anyone else's. It just has to point to Jesus.
And when Christmas morning arrives, imagine this: you're not exhausted. You're not overwhelmed. You're not snapping at your children or regretting your bank balance.
You're present. You're peaceful. And your children have spent four weeks learning that Christmas isn't about consuming more - it's about receiving the greatest gift ever given.
That's Advent done right.
Resources to help you create meaningful Advent traditions:
- Download my free Kindness Advent Calendar with simple daily prompts
- Discover the colour in version of the Kindness Advent Calendar
- Explore the Advent Prayer Journal - 33 pages for families to reflect together
- Browse faith-filled gifts for children that point to what matters
What Advent traditions does your family treasure? I'd love to hear what works in your home. Share in the comments below!